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04 September 2007 @ 01:08 pm
 Well, for the past week or so, I havnt really been watching what I have been eating. We had a family reunion, a celebreation dinner and Olive Garden, and I was really stressed from work last week. So, I ate whatever I wanted, didnt matter how late at night, I didnt weigh myself for a week, and I weighed myself this morning... I gain like 5lbs. Im SO mad. So, its back down to restricting massivly for this week. As all of you know once you are done with a long binge, its the first day thats the hardest to get back on track. So... today for breakfast I had a rice krispie (100) Then, for lunch I had a sandwich( probably around 250-300) NOT so great, so for dinner, Im going to keep it small. Or at least try to.. I should be too hungry, Im pretty full now. Isnt it better to eat a bigger meal for lunch anyway? Well, wish me luck on the rest of the week.
27 August 2007 @ 12:21 pm
I went grocery shopping yesterday, trying to find good low-cal foods. I found these 100 calorie packs, they are little snack cakes, cause I do love my snack cakes. I also got some more rice krispie treats (100 cals), got some low fat cottage cheese(80 cals 1/2 cup), ahhh... lets see, I didnt get anything to drink for myself, I was going to get some diet Nestea( 0 cals) but they were out, so I will just drink water. So far today I have had 180 cals, not too shabby. Like I said, dinner is probably what kills me. When you are a mom and a wife, you have to cook for your family-not that my daughter eats our food yet- And, I just dont see cooking a whole meal for one person, so I eat with him. BUT, I dont usually eat that much. Portion control I guess. Im on my lunchbreak now, and I didnt even finish all of my cottage cheese. I am not sure what I am going to make for dinner yet. 

As for this weekend, my husband went out Saturday morning and got McDonalds breakfast. He knows I love their breakfast burritos, so he got me one, EVEN though I told him I didnt want anything. So, he brought it back and I DIDNT EAT IT! I was so proud! Instead I just had one of those flavored oatmeals, then that was all I had all day until dinner, and I had a salad. Keeping this journal really helps a lot, reading everyone else's journals helps too. Yay for LJ!
Current Mood: indifferentindifferent
25 August 2007 @ 10:01 am
I did really well yesterday. I managed to eat only a rice krispie treat and a an order of small curly fries. Which, the curly fries I ate at work, they were taking orders to go get lunch, and everyone throws a fit and thinks I am crazy if I dont want anything, so I had to get something. That was all I had... until.....around 10ish last night, we got some new bud and it was REALLY good, and I just could not resist the munchies. I wasnt even hungry before, then we smoked and I just started craving sweets. I had a snack cake and a bowl of cereal. I really wish I hadnt have done it, but, I still lost when I weighed myself this morning..luckily. I think I can do alright as long as I dont give into cravings when I smoke. Now that I now how good the bud is, I can brace myself to fight cravings..lol. 

I find that the more I DONT eat, the more I dont want food period. Nothing sounds good, so it doesnt really make me crave anything or get hungry. So, the goal is to not eat anything, then I wont get hungry. Its when I get the taste of food fresh in my mouth when I start to think about what I am craving later for dinner. I have really found these rice krispies handy for breakfast and lunch. I could probably eat one for dinner too, but I have to cook for my husband, and I find it a waste to cook only for him, and not have anything myself. Oh well.. another day, another chance to hold out.:)
Current Mood: blankblank
23 August 2007 @ 01:03 pm
Well, I finally got over my plateu. It almost feels impossible to get over them sometimes. I was stuck at 146 for like 2 weeks, FINALLY I broke it a few days ago. I am down to 144 now. 

I had a rice krispie treat for breakfast, and one for lunch. They are only 90 cals each, and the sweet taste makes me not really crave anything else. I just havnt been real hungry the past couple days, which is awesome. I hate it when I get so hungry and I have to eat something substancial for lunch. My co-workers were asking me what I had for lunch yesterday, and I am a TERRIBLE lier,  so I said jus told them a rice krispie treat. They were all " THATS ALL??" like Im going to die if I eat more. That has to be one my my biggest pet peves is when people pressure me to east and I dont want to. I am a grown woman, I will eat when I want to. I will also eat WHAT I want to. 

My energy level is a little down today, but its probably because I took a xanax last night..lol It sure helps me deal with my boss a lot better. Hes THE BIGGEST asshole I have ever met in my entire life. .. I get the pleasure of having to see him 8-5 everyday. Its AWESOME.. : |  

For dinner, I dont know what I am going to make. My husband eats like the food supply is running out or something, so I always have to cook some big thing for dinner. He cant just have like a bowl of cereal, or soup... he has to have MEAT because hes a MAN!..lol. But, I guess thats how men eat, I dont know..lol. 

Wish me luch on dinner tonight! If I could get away with it, I would just eat a rice krispie :)   I love em!
Current Mood: complacentcomplacent
22 August 2007 @ 12:43 pm
Recently, I have lost 30lbs. I have struggled with my weight since I was in 5th grade, at least, thats the furthest back I can remember. I just had my first baby back in November, and I didnt gain much over the pregnancy, but after I had her, I kept eating like I was pregnant because thats what my body was used to. So, basically I just never lost my baby weight. Now, I am 20lbs lighter than I was before I got pregnant. Its just a constant struggle. I am not sure if I am really ana or not. I mean... yes and no. No, I dont look like I'm ana, but I definatly DO think like one.. so I dont know. its hard to say. I wouldnt call myself ana, Im pretty sure you have to look the part to be the part, and I dont look the part yet. Anyway, thats my story, just contantly trying to eat as little as possible and still be social at the same time. :)
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: Portishead "Dummy"